August 20, 2013
Q: Dear Mistress Didi,
I see that the idiot-stalker is still trying to harass You. What’s the deal? You said You would tell what to do with creeps like this. What’s taking You so long to say what You’re doing about him so I can know what to do with the [expletive] that’s annoying me?
~ Miss Seamus
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A better question is: Why are you following the loser’s activities? You seriously need to ask yourself: What are your motives for focusing on such negativity and inferiority? What does this say about you and what you’re REALLY committed to?
You want something from Me and didn’t bother to ask politely for My assistance; in fact, you barked like a cur to make a demand. So, now I add you to serve My purposes to demonstrate to those who are worthy of My gracious giving what I do to maintain My Domain, My Wellness, My Happiness, and eliminate idiots and idiocy.
The challenge for anyone who reads this is to notice your resistance as I present the most positive approach to wellness. The level of constriction that you feel in your body is a direct indication of how much negativity you are committed to maintaining in your life. Being aware of one’s resistance is a basic tenet of behavioral modification therapy.
This post is Part 3 of 3 of Domain Maintenance With Self-Love and Personal Integrity. In Part 1: False Friends and Allies In Lies, I offer how to care for yourself when your trust and kindness have been betrayed. In Part 2: Manipulation Tactics: Who’s Topping You?, I offer value to the person who encounters slanderous intentions that are designed to manipulate you. In this post, I will focus on exactly (1) how I USE offenders to serve Me better than if I paid someone to do My bidding, and (2) how I keep My cool and attend to My Karma, which is My most important concern.
In Part 1: False Friends & Allies In Lies, I wrote: “The best way for sheeple to avoid personal responsibility is to join in negativity against those who are doing/being/creating what they cannot do themselves.” In your case, you choose to focus on the negative aspects of this situation and operate from lower vibrations and lizard-brain thinking, rather than utilizing the positive resources and techniques I’ve generously presented in My posts — which is exactly what the loser you’ve uselessly attached yourself to chooses to do — and all of the other losers before, and inevitably after him, will choose such laziness in support of continued, cowardice and inferiority, too. By focusing on the lowest vibrations and choosing to operate at the lowest levels of existence, you refuse opportunities to improve your state of being. In other words, you neglect who and what you claim to LOVE in your life by obsessing on people who care nothing for or about you.
WARNING: If you don’t change your focus and improve your ways, you will also find yourself in the position where you are the cause for your significant other(s) cheating on you, too! And it will be YOUR FAULT because you neglected the love that exists in your life to obsess over ridiculous fantasies that you create about people who want nothing to do with you for reasons that you’ve also created.
I made it clear that I pay attention to the signs. I recognize that all the h8ters who connect to offenders’ inferiority (in whatever ways) will congregate in doing any-and-everything to take the focus off of their own self-h8tred and lack of personal responsibility for how crappy they create their lives to be. The h8ters serve Positive People by showing Us how We can strengthen Our Self-Love even more. We learn from adversity while h8ters further devolve into self-loathing and drag their families into hell with them.
I wrote: “A loser is someone who only seeks to take from situations and offer nothing – because they don’t believe they have anything of value to offer, and which they will always prove to be true. It’s easier for the losers and sheeple to choose to focus on negativity because it takes bravery to (1) face and accept one’s insecurities and (2) do work to improve one’s self. This is why the losers and sheeple are lazy cowards, which is reflected in their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives on all levels.” Part of this “personal avoidance process” is blaming everyone else for your failures and insisting that you are entitled to the fruits of others’ labors.
So, for MY purposes, I write this post and I keep My promise to the worthy folks who appreciate My Gifts and do their own work for their happiness by disclosing what I do to keep My cool, attend to My Karma, and Maintain My Domain.
How To Powerfully Pity The Pathetic
1) Practice an Attitude of Gratitude. Each and every day, I give thanks for ALL that I have and all that I AM. I realize that even though I may not have everything I desire, that I am so much more fortunate than the vast majority of people in the world. I begin each day before getting out of bed by counting a minimum of 10 things I am grateful for. This lifts My general attitude to begin My day and generates pleasure chemicals in My body for overall wellness (more and more scientific research proves this as fact)! For example, I am grateful that I have all of My senses, that I have food to eat, that I can walk (again!), that I have healthcare, and so many other things that people in Our own country don’t have – and the majority of people on the planet have even less. Of course, like just about every person who is part of a Westernized-culture, there are always things I desire to acquire. However, Winners know that by keeping Our focus on positivity and prosperity, We attract and create success.
2) Practice Forgiveness like a mutha@%#*! I begin by forgiving Myself for whatever “fantasies I imposed upon situations” – like expecting people to be true to their word and to behave in civilized manners. One of the keys to a peaceful life is to have no expectations – which is something that is extremely difficult to figure out how to do since We project Our desired outcomes onto everything We do. So, when I recognize that I set Myself up for a disappointment, I:
a) Forgive Myself and all involved for not living up to My “fantasy” of what coulda-shoulda-woulda been. I work to accept that “it is what it is” – hey sometimes stuff happens;
b) Get Over It And Move On to create My happiness. Moving on is the key because you cannot change the past, and harping on something that IS OVER AND DONE WITH disrupts your future; and
c) Recognize That There Is Only NOW. All of the energy spent on mulling over people who didn’t behave, and things that didn’t go, the way you wanted them to is time wasted from enjoying your life NOW, in the present, the Only Time There IS. There’s a reason it’s called the “present”: At every given moment, and from moment to moment, you have the ability to change what you don’t like about your life and create and empower what you do like. The present is the gift of power to create (tap into The Divine Energy), so make the most of it! I know this to be true and I live it!
3) LEARN From The Experience With Gratitude that I am smarter for having had it and now I know what NOT to do next time. Most recently, I learned to:
a) Follow My First Instincts and NOT Doubt Them. Again, I had to learn this lesson, but I’ve learned it now! I hold regular interviews for “club sub” positions for My (and other) events. I will never again give someone I dislike from the moment I meet them a chance to be in My Domain. And, when My Fetish Family tells Me they do not care for a person, I will dismiss him immediately without any second thoughts or chances.
b) NEVER AGAIN Permit Myself To Be Convinced To The Contrary Of My Instincts. I accept full responsibility for allowing a Domina I’ve known for years to convince Me to give someone I instantly disliked a chance and to share his services with Me. Had I followed My instincts, I would not have engaged in a cooperative collaboration with Her in the first place – not anything against Her, but because his energies AND BEHAVIOR were inferior and distasteful. And even after seeing that he was completely wrong for My Domain, as a cooperative courtesy to Her, I went against My instincts to dismiss him sooner. Here’s the REALITY: I understand that She ALSO wanted to dismiss him sooner, but went against Her instincts as a cooperative courtesy to Me! I will NEVER go against My instincts and comforts again.
c) Observe My Thoughts That Led Me Down This Road. I spent the past 8 years dealing with a debilitating injury that destroyed much of My life. EVERY day was a battle in pain and depression. Because I am FABULOUS and a WINNER, I refused to become a loser because of financial and property losses from living in 24/7-non-stop pain. I believe in My Greatness and I tried everything I could to improve My State of Being. Though I often felt I wanted to, I refused to give up. This process has been extremely difficult, but I am worth the effort! I chose to heal, and I am in the process of becoming better than I’ve ever been before. So, I have tremendous compassion for people who have to deal with illness of any kind.
However, I have NO CONSIDERATION for people who use their illnesses as weapons against others; in other words, as manipulation tools against your compassion to bully you to excuse their heinous behavior and lack of personal responsibility – especially to disobey orders as a so-called-submissive. Belligerent insistence on attempting to top-from-the-bottom is NEVER excusable as there is NEVER a reason to break your agreement to serve as I decide for MY Domain. I am most generous, not unreasonable, and I do not EVER require any activity that would be contrary to anyone’s wellness, especially Mine. I have made allowances for people who fail(ed) to live up to the opportunities I have given them. I will not do this again.
People who refuse to improve their diets, exercise, practice physical and mental wellness techniques, and especially, refuse to develop emotional maturity to improve their conditions and lives will ALWAYS BE DISMISSED FROM MY DOMAIN and/or be refused admittance to it. If you are/are not working on a solution for your life condition, you will NOT be My problem. My Domain is ONLY for people who brave to be Fabulous Winners, too. The question for all others is: With Us, the people you desire to associate with, as examples, why are you not inspired to choose to be your best?
4) Protect My Domain. Read “Safety Tips for Dommes”
a) Take Advantage of The Assistance of Friends In High Places. Let’s just say that I am most fortunate that I don’t have to do anything; everything is being handled for Me by people with legal authority and power. While I ignore (muted, blocked, etc.) this loser’s desperate attempts to gain My attention, he’s continued to build irrefutable evidence for legal action that I will take against him if he insists on making it necessary. In fact, he obviously misunderstands the totality of the Confidentiality Agreement that he signed and which is on file. If any intelligence exists, he will cease stupidities and handle his home life NOW before he loses everything.
Which brings Me to:
5) Pity The Fool (see Pity The Self-Loathing – note the date I posted this writing). While I am a Sadist, and I always make offenders useful to Me in a variety of ways they seldom consider, I have a tremendous amount of compassion – which, like My kindness, is all too often, foolishly mistaken for weakness. I use this to My advantage should someone insist on receiving retribution – even though, I feel sorry for these offenders because:
a) While these types somehow convince themselves that what they do is not cheating, lying, etc., they never consider that their significant others are cheating on and lying to them, which is inevitably the outcome when you neglect those you’ve committed to. This is why in My previous posts I have advised losers to:
i) Focus on what’s going on in their own lives instead of trying to obsess over their twisted fantasies about Me and Mine;
ii) Get a clue – they ALL think they are “special” while anyone can see that they are all, boringly alike – as evidenced by My articles, blog posts, tweets, etc., written YEARS ago. I merely take the opportunity to reiterate at appropriate times if it amuses Me to benefit from their inane stupidity;
iii) Pay attention to loving the people they claim to care about (e.g., being better parents and spouses) instead of trying to h8te people who care nothing for or about them. Quite frankly, I’m done caring more about losers’ families than they do; and
iv) Pay attention to the magnitude of My statement that it’s a privilege to have resourceful friends in High Places setting them up if they don’t back down. It can never be said that I do not give numerous warnings.
b) I understand that such people who choose h8tred – whether via politics; religion; making enemies of their neighbors; etc. – need psychiatric and spiritual help. As I stated in Part 2: Manipulation Tactics: Who’s Topping You?:
“… most people operate from lower vibrations and lizard-brain thinking because that’s the typically lazy way to exist, their failures and fears must be the fault of everything and everyone else who IS successful in doing the work in their own lives for their own happiness.”
I feel sorry for these cowards because of how horrible it must be to insist that you are not good enough, smart enough, anything of value to the point that you are too afraid to be better than a loser? To not love yourself? And, therefore, failing at loving your wife, your children, or anyone else in truth?
“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
And, when cowards encounter people who are Winners, their fear is exaggerated to the point of inevitable self-destruction – which manifests as family troubles, e.g., children who are sex and substance abusers; neighbors who despise and conspire against you, cheating spouses, etc. Such cowards are so intent on self-loathing that they destroy what goodness Winners could ever see in them because they don’t believe the goodness within them is real. That is extremely sad and pitiable.
c) I Always Have Hope and Prayers. First and foremost, for My Karma, because I Love Myself, I choose to always send positive vibrations to those who seek to make themselves enemies – especially when they go out of their way to offend Me! I choose NOT to have enemies because that would just add negativity and ugliness to My Domain and take away from The Beauty of Life: the wonderful people who love and care for Me; how I see the world; how much fun I am able to have living My life. I understand that when you send energy, you must be careful not to be manipulative with your intentions because (1) thoughts are energy and have power and (2) that would be imposing your will upon someone else’s life. If you believe in any type of God Energy, all religious/spiritual doctrines (except for the popular, “subjugation religions”) say that humans were given free-will and the right to be happy. I always hope offenders will choose to be better in every way, but better in any way will be an improvement.
d) I completely DETACH from offenders and their shenanigans. Seriously, I don’t care for or about them and keep My focus on My Joy, BetterFetish™, and BETTER everything than they could possibly be or have been to Me.
e) I honor My Sadism. When these morons get excited by their silly fantasies of power in My Domain, I use them for articles, blog posts, make money off of them, etc. When I’m done using them, I move onto useful pursuits. Smarter offenders move on with their lives. Stupid offenders continue with their desperate need for attention… and pay… in every way…
4) I Keep My Focus And Energies Evolving Towards Being The Best I Can Be, as is evident in My writings – even when I’m bitchy. I strongly recommend to EVERYONE to read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In fact, I give this book as a gift to those whom I mentor and I have recently decided that it will be required reading for those who wish to serve in My Domain, as well. The Four Agreements are:
- Be impeccable with your word;
- Don’t take anything personally (because people are operating from their own fantasies about your reality, as well as their own);
- Don’t make assumptions; and
- Always do your best.
Practicing The Four Agreements is quite the rewarding challenge. Every day, I benefit from these simple concepts and lead a happier life with each day being better than the day before!
As for the actual steps to completely stop stalkers (and punish them for their offenses), I’m going to conduct a webcam workshop with step-by-step guidelines on how to destroy offenders if they don’t stop harassing you. Join My Mailing List to be notified of dates and fees.
It’s people like you, Miss Seamus, who always serve to remind Me not to cast My Pearls before the lazy who wish to benefit from My work and knowledge while not even being polite enough to ask for – and Goddess-knows, never offer gratitude for – My assistance. Now, anyone who’s interested can pay for My time and expertise, or do all the research and footwork themselves.
Resources for Victims or Witnesses of Hate Crimes | The New York County District Attorney’s Office
Keeping Cool With Karma
How To Handle Lizard-brain Thinking Attacks
How To Deal With Relationship Gossip
Transcending Malicious Liars
Consider The Source
Pity The Self-Loathing
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If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…
I’m a Domme, not your mom.
More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom
Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.