Tag Archives: monster control

©The Mistress Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

PAY ATTENTION! submissive Tip

July 31, 2016

This is another entry for submissives AND Dominants to utilize for BetterFetish™ in your life. I cannot stress enough how important it is to take the time to carefully read and follow  instructions to avoid ruining great opportunities for yourself and others.

With all of the resources and tips that I generously give, there are always folks who (1) are their own, worst enemies; and (2) choose to be insulted because they failed to PAY ATTENTION AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.

Most folks are busy people who are juggling the important things in life to have time for Fetish Enjoyments. One of the worst things a potential submissive can do is to waste Our time.  A Smart Domme will prepare written materials to:

  • prevent repeating Herself unnecessarily;
  • ensure that Her Rules and Requirements can be understood; and
  • provide an easy resource for those who are seeking to serve.

Smart Dommes know that how a submissive complies with written instructions will demonstrate how s/he will show up in Your Domain.

A smart and worthy submissive will pay attention and follow instructions carefully. Really smart submissives read and re-read instructions before making further connections with the Domme.

The person who inspired this Ask Mistress Didi* post:

  1. Has been on My Mailing List for years, so he is familiar with how I do things;
  2. Has attended one of My Events, so he has had first-hand experience with how I do things; and
  3. Is a perfect demonstration of a desperate substandard — which is NOT attractive or desirable — it is a form of psychic/emotional vampirism.

Now, I usually-always give people a second chance, but I do have a 3-strikes-you’re-out Rule. This guy demonstrates that his ONLY concern is what he wants and he’s not even aware enough to realize that he was given a second chance and is looking to be coddled and catered to.  Had he bothered to follow instructions, he would have seen that I’m in the be-served business, not the service industry.

In My previous post, How-To Tips for submissives: First Contact  (links to which are all over My websites and in My emails that this person responded to), I emphasize:

4)     Whatever you do, don’t approach Us with desperation! Do not beg! We will tell you when We want you to beg. Desperation is a warning sign of emotional immaturity, of whiners, energy vampires, incompetence, and selfish kinksters. While that may be a desire for some Dominants, I don’t know any of those types – and don’t want to know them because their attraction to people with “baggage” will bring drama-not-on-Broadway with them wherever they go. Neediness is NOT attractive and is a setup for disaster.

Here is the exchange that demonstrates that this person is lazy, inconsiderate, a faker-taker who will offer nothing of value to be worthy of My Domain.


Mistress Didi:

Is there any chance that a competent male might help with the move, in the hope of catching the eye of a domme who deems that male useful?
You have been most hospitable to this one in the past. Seeking a new FLR, not just play.

submissively
jun

My reply:

How lovely to offer and thank you, but the move is out of the country and I have trained staff.

I will be in NYC for the month of August (so far) and perhaps discussions about FLR may ensue. Do contact Me after 7/25 and read My Requirements.

Have a lovely day!

NoteMy Requirements have a form to be submitted for consideration to serve Me — something I encourage Dominas to do to weed out the wankers. jun did NOT submit the required form and is only focused on his agenda.

Mistress Didi:

As You instructed, contacting You (nearly) after 7/25.  Read Your requirements, fully compliant.

Await Your pleasure pertaining to FLR.

submissively

jun

My 2nd Chance reply:

Clearly, you need to read My instructions again and pay attention this time.

his reply

Mistress Didi:

Apologies if i overstepped.  Did read and understand Your instructions.
Presumed, incorrectly, that You recalled me from past visits.
Once waited several hours at Your event for a Mistress who never arrived.  Served at another event.
Were we not thus previously acquainted, would never have dared to offer the services that began this thread, below.
How might one start over, at Your pleasure?

submissively
jun

Note: I have no recollection of this guy serving at any of My Events, which means that either he was not worth remembering or that he’s one of those people (there are many) who made up a story about serving Me and actually believes his lie!

Also note: jun’s apology has NOTHING to do with My response to follow instructions and he continues to make his request!

My 3rd Strike Reply:

There are always 3 things I consider when someone requests to serve Me:

1) how well they follow My instructions – which are the same for everyone and those who are worthy of My time and attentions follow them properly. I intensely dislike repeating Myself which is why I have what needs to be known written on My websites;

2) if they have bothered to read any of the gracious gifts I offer so that selfish-time-wasters don’t annoy Me; and

3) if someone has ever met Me in person and/or attended any of My events, how considerate to My ventures they have/have not been.

No, you did not properly pay attention, even after I gave you a chance to review My instructions, or you would have followed them.

I respectfully took the time to not only review My correspondence history with you, but also the instructions on My webpages and ensured that the links work.  Obviously, you did not take the time to follow My instructions – as those who are serving Me did and do.

you attended ONE of My events to meet a person who stood you up and I have not received anything from you since – not a hello or Happy Birthday email and definitely not a donation to My Charities. All you have offered is a desperate plea to “serve” – which in your case, means to serve yourself.

Had you paid attention to the links at the bottom of My email or the sidebar of My websites, you would have seen My recent Ask Mistress Didi* post for submissives that addresses desperation and other faux pas that you continue to make.

If you don’t bother to invest the proper time in the preliminary steps to have what you want, you will not take the time to be of useful and proper service.  And you show that you do not invest even the minimal amount of time to appreciate Me and My Domain, which would make you a liability and annoyance.

And I have no use for someone who must be led-by-the-nose to even begin a connection with Me.

Good luck.

Now, jun can choose to be offended or he can learn from this experience. My Karma is positive as I have outlined his transgressions for review. On top of being efficient and gracious by making My Requirements easily available, I have gifted him with the chance to make improvements. What he chooses to do is his Karma.

I encourage submissives to take a look at your presentation because it shows your intentions whether you are aware of this or not. There are many people who don’t pay attention and just get excited that someone wants to serve them, but the Quality Fetishists pay close attention! When you are clear on your motivations, you can better refine your search for Dominas Who match your desires.

Domina101™ Lesson

One of My Domina101™  Collective Participants did what females who coddle their annoying male relatives do: she rushed to defend jun by saying that, perhaps, he didn’t understand My instructions or, perhaps, he didn’t have time to “read all that!” I relayed that if he did not have time to make a good start, he would definitely make a poor finish! And since I am not a desperate Domme, I do not bother to waste time on people who, for whatever their reasons, don’t give Me the time to properly begin a relationship with Me and What Is Mine. I have what he wants, not the other way around, and the submissive must be worthy of the attention he craves.

Her focus was on accommodating this stranger, which is something that people confuse with “being considerate of others’ needs.” As the Domme, Your needs are the primary consideration and Your attentions should be given to the useful and worthy. This conversation gave her the opportunity to see a reason that the subs who have shown up in her life did not fulfill her requirements and were not attentive to her desires. Making excuses for failures is a certain path to discontent.

I strongly recommend that you appreciate the many other Gifts I offer on My Ask Mistress Didi* site to improve your chances for creating the D/s relationship of your dreams and avoid nightmares.  Pay particular attention to the following:

My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide

Domme vs. “dumme”

submissive vs. substandard

The Importance of Rituals and Protocols

Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookWorkshopshttp://askmistressdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gifBeing a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles:
AskMistressDidi.com

How-To Tips for submissives: First Contact

February 26, 2016

This entry is for submissives AND Dominants to utilize for BetterFetish™ in your life.

The following are tips for the serious submissive to make successful connections with Dominants by making a good impression to be taken seriously.   Since there are so many wanna-subs and kinksters polluting the Fetish Scene, it is difficult for the truly submissive (especially those who are new to the Scene) with a sincere desire to serve to be seen and heard. If you are not aware of what entices Dominants to notice you with interest, you will be discarded before you even have a chance to connect.

I strongly recommend that you appreciate the other Gifts I also offer on My Ask Mistress Didi* site to improve your chances for finding the Dominant of your dreams and being a quality submissive.  Pay particular attention to the following:

My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide

submissive vs. substandard

The Importance of Rituals and Protocols


Presentation is everything. First impressions are lasting.

Contacting a Dominant can be very scary! I feel for you, I really do! However, it must be done if you are ever going to fulfill your destiny. Now, you have the choice to contact Us intelligently or repeat the stupid mistakes that make Us all wonder if We’re ever going to find what We’re looking for.

Understand that there are a lot of folks who are either confused or want to believe that the definition of a submissive is a sexual bottom and end their experiences there. These creatures annoy Quality Dominants by contacting Us with what they want and without any class, charm, or respect whatsoever. Approach Us correctly and We will want to know you!

Contacting Us

1)     READ AND PAY ATTENTION to Our information (websites, profiles, etc.), especially Our requirements for service. Don’t just get excited by Our photos. We have taken the time and care to clearly present Our requirements in writing so that there are no misunderstandings about what We want and do not want, etc. Be realistic to yourself about whether you fit what We’re interested in BEFORE contacting Us with your desire to serve.

2)     ALWAYS address a person (Dominant, submissive, whatever) with a polite salutation and by their name AND title. For example, “Hello, Mistress Didi,” is acceptable and shows that (1) you have manners and were not raised by complete barbarians; (2) you offer respect for how a person chooses to express Her/himself in The Scene; and (3) you gain Our intention by addressing Us directly. “Hey,” or to just begin your contact with a copy and pasted, impersonal writing is unacceptable because (1) you show that you are only interested in what you want; (2) you don’t care who accommodates you as long as you can get someone to; and (3) shows a lack of manners, social grace, and basic consideration for the person you’re addressing. IF I bother to respond at all to such an intrusion into My special, crafted, and cultivated Domain, I reply with only this link: How To Present yourself To A Mistress.

3)     Attractively state what you offer before mentioning what you’re looking for. There are far too many selfish twits who believe that “submissive” is code for lay-down-and-get-done. They always and only talk about what they want – and that’s all they talk about. These substandards must think that (a) they’re so special (because their mommies told them so) that the world is going to do back-flips in excitement to cater to them and/or (b) that We’re desperate (there are a lot of desperate “dominants,” but they are not in the mindset of Quality Dominance that I am referring to). Dominants are interested in what you offer to improve and/or compliment Our Domains. Some do’s and don’ts are:

  • Do NOT write graphically explicit details about what you’re into, willing to do, fantasizing about, etc. Such personal details should be reserved for an already-established relationship and upon request.
  • Do NOT send non-requested, naked photos – and especially photos of your genitals. I guarantee that how sexy you think your body parts are will not be appreciated by most Dominants who are interested in a true D/s relationship dynamic and not just kink. In fact, it’s rude to “flash” people! We will tell you if and when We want to see you naked.
  • Do list your talents, skills, and what you’re comfortably able to provide to Us. BE USEFUL. No one wants dead weight hanging around, taking up space. And NO, your idea of your sexual prowess is not considered a talent or skill.
  • Keep it short and to the point. I know that some of you are saying, “Really, Mistress Didi? That from You of all people?” It is true that I often choose to be loquacious, but as I teach in Domina101™, My time is valuable. I carefully and clearly make My Requirements available so that everyone can handle their own business and not waste My or their time. Making people read quickly weeds out the lazy and other wannasubs who are not what I want in My Domain. Most of Us are busy people and you are not the only person requesting to serve Us.
  • Use full sentences and proper phrasing – and definitely do NOT use texting abbreviations. Here’s one of the gems I teach in My Superior submissive™ Workshop: Always phrase your sentences as requests and be careful not to sound as if you are making demands. Dominants really dislike being told what to do. For example, “Call me,” or any type of command is NOT for you to say to Us; it’ for Us to say to you.
  • Say please, thank you, and may I. Aside from being polite and having manners, you are speaking from your proper place and into how We can be most receptive to you.
  • Be honest about your situation(s). For example, if you’re a starving artist and someone decides to give you a chance, truthfully relay what is comfortable for you in terms of time and finances.

I know, the alarms just went off in your head: I said, “finances.” PAY ATTENTION:

  • Anything that is worthwhile will cost you time and/or money. While there are a lot of Dominants who don’t like to use the word, “tribute” because most people don’t know what a tribute is and are too lazy to look it up along with its historical connotations, even those Dominants want an investment from you in appreciation for Their time and attention – which IS what you want from Us.

4)     Whatever you do, don’t approach Us with desperation! Do not beg! We will tell you when We want you to beg. Desperation is a warning sign of emotional immaturity, of whiners, energy vampires, incompetence, and selfish kinksters. While that may be a desire for some Dominants, I don’t know any of those types – and don’t want to know them because their attraction to people with “baggage” will bring drama-not-on-Broadway with them wherever they go. Neediness is NOT attractive and is a setup for disaster.

5)     Don’t ask questions that you can look up to handle your own business. In the time it takes you to ask Us something like, “What’s shibari?” you can Google it. Do that. Otherwise, you’re showing Us that you’re lazy. Use the internet for more than just looking up porn!

6)     Be pleasant and sincere. Tell the truth. I never understand why people lie; the truth will inevitably be revealed sooner than later. If you’re in a relationship, DEFINITELY say so. Smart Dominants know that “my partner doesn’t understand me” crap is exactly that: crap.  It’s also code for a lot of things to look out for that I disclose in My Webcam Workshops.

7)     The stupidest thing you can do is supply a photograph that is not current. Not everyone is going to be polite when you’ve sent a photo of someone who’s fit and coiffed and you show up flabby, frumpy, and 20 years older – I most certainly am not!  If We’ve taken an interest in you, We want the real you from the start! I will never understand how people think that the bait-and-switch is going to work. We do NOT like being lied to and set up for disappointment. Starting out with a gigantic LIE is completely disrespectful to Us and is a wasteful form of masochism because you cut yourself off from authentic experiences by being disingenuous. Such idiocy robs Us both of the thrilling dynamics of Sadism and masochism and irritates Dominants. It is not smart to irritate Dominants… And definitely foolish to irritate Sadists…

Of course, I have MANY more tips, tools, and gems for your comfort and ease in making an excellent first impression. The easiest way to learn them is to treat yourself to My Webcam Workshops, the proceeds of which assist in My Charity fundraising! The other option is to read through all of the many, many Gifts I offer for FREE on My Ask Mistress Didi* site and work it all out for yourself. Aren’t you lucky that I am such a Giving Goddess!

Whatever option you choose, get started NOW. No one is guaranteed your next breath…

Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookWorkshopshttp://askmistressdidi.com/1/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/readmynewsletter.gifBeing a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles:

 

©The Mistress Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

Fakers-Shakers-Takers-Noise-Makers

©The Mistress Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

April 6, 2014

Dear Mistress Didi,

Thank You for the Domina101™ Workshop! I learned a lot more than I thought I would and I see that there is much I didn’t consider. I feel much more confident and I have a much better understanding of how I am Dominant and where to go from here… Would You please elaborate on what “takers-fakers-shakers-noise-makers” are?

Miss K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Miss K,

I’m delighted that You enjoyed My Domina101™ Workshop and have gained value from it. It is My intention to pass on the wisdom that I’ve learned from experience to as many people as possible for BetterFetish™ ‑ which is sorely needed these days as people confuse Fetish with kink (see Fetish vs. kink).

I devised the term, “fakers-shakers-takers-noise-makers” to refer to “time-wasters” who are part of the confusion of the mainstream’s foray into The Scene. While We want to give people the opportunity to prove their worthiness, knowing the signs of “wasters” prevents acts of vampirism on Our precious energies. As always, I use My own experiences as examples, but anyone who reads this will be able to relate to many examples of these folks in their own lives.

Fakers

Fakers are exactly what they sound like: pretending to be any and everything they claim to be. You will find an enormous amount of fakers on so-called, (anti)social sites of every kind, but especially on “alternative lifestyle” sites. Particularly these days in the 50 Shades of Foolishness era, every moron with a pulse is a “Dominant” or a “submissive” but the translation of those terms for fakers is to be a control freak/bully and/or a “do-me,” sex-seeker (a.k.a., lazy). These folks read fiction, fantasize that they are the characters, and chime in on every forum conversation from the imaginings in their heads – usually to play the make-wrong game with someone whose experience intimidates and reminds them that they’re liars. Since fakers lie, they insist that everyone else is lying, too – especially people (1) who they feel will see through their ruses and (2) who they feel cause them to feel inadequate – which is anyone who disagrees with them and/or doesn’t join in their brand of negativity against others. Fakers usually have sad and boring lives and seldom show up and/or screw up when given the opportunity to have what they claim they desire. Then, they create “horror stories” about You to spread to other fakers to avoid facing how they fail themselves and other people in their real lives.

Resources: Safety Tips For Dommes (and everyone else); Toe in The Water Retreat

Shakers

Shakers are nosy gossips, busy-bodies, disruptors, instigators, and other creeple whose intention is to cause strife, stress and discord. If there’s a he-said-she-said situation, a shaker is at the helm with a bunch of others just like him sucking on the hull of the ship like barnacles. Shakers feed off of negativity and will even disagree with what they actually believe just to get a rise out of you – or anyone they can. Of course, shakers lie. Shakers possess a special type of pathetic insecurity that usually results in self-abuse in the form of attacks on their physical health and appearance. To avoid their own self-loathing, shakers seek to be contrary by nit-picking words and phrases from your conversation and propose them out of context to fight with you in an attempt to play the make-wrong game. This is the favorite way that shakers gather others of their kind to join in the shark attack.

Beware of shakers in your close circles. They pretend to be your friends, wait for you to confide in them at a vulnerable moment, and try to steer you in the direction of the most strife so they can talk about you and indulge in your pain. Their lack of self-love is infinitely greater than their desperate need for attention. What shakers never understand is that there is only one end for them: their behavior creates a reputation that people will have nothing but horrible things to say while talking about them and telling the truth. It’s just a matter of time…

Resources: The 4I’s (& Flopped Friendships); Boring Need For Attention With Criticism Masked As Polite Conversation; False Friends & Allies In Lies

Takers

Takers have one goal: to use and abuse whatever they can get from You without offering anything. A taker is the guy who agrees to Your terms and “somehow,” doesn’t manage to show up to fulfill them. The goal is for You to be understanding of his “issues” and give him more chances – all of which he will fail to fulfill. Another example of a taker is the “Mistress” who smiles in My face – as if I didn’t know how she speaks about Me behind My back – and rushes to take a photo with Me to make herself “look good by association” in her blog (see Fabulous & Guilty By Association). This chic has never contributed to My Charity Works in any way but will contact Me for advice and for help. Perhaps, takers think We’re stupid or suckers. If she ever actually reads anything on My Blog, she will recognize herself and see how she serves Me. As I have written and continue to advise, I make offenders useful to Me – see the Contents of My Ask Mistress Didi* Blog.

Resources: Ask Mistress Didi*

Noise-makers

Noise-makers also suffer from a desperate need for attention. They just lie – period. Noise-makers are the broadcast system for h8ters and their intention is to destroy what creators create. They thrive on disharmony and destruction. They are the worst type of gossips and the lowest of the low because they are the mindless fool-tools of fakers, shakers, and takers. Their desperate desire to be accepted by “the cool kids” is the impetus for their poor choices.

My favorite noise-maker of all time is slave-sarah (if I had a penny for every one I’ve encountered with that name…) who, while I was conversing with a few folks at a Play Party (not Mine), walked into the center of the group and, while looking Me in the face, proceeded to tell a story about how horrible “Mistress Didi” was and what a terrible time she had at My recent event. She thoroughly engaged Me, so I asked:

“And what’s your name?”

“I’m slave sarah,” she said, extending her hand to shake Mine. “And You are?”

The look on her face was priceless as I said, “I’m Mistress Didi.” This noise-maker was so embarrassed that she literally turned bright red and ran out of the door, leaving her sweater behind.

The best way to deal with noise-makers is to manipulate their egos to humiliate themselves. Like a shark in a feeding frenzy, once they get started, their venomous slander is addictive like heroin and they spiral out of control. When you’re done using them for sport, thank them for gathering other undesirables onto their bandwagon and away from you. And then, be done. I always remind folks that I discard trash; I don’t entertain it.

Resources: False Friends & Allies In Lies; Manipulation Tactics: Who’s Topping You?; Being Superior: My “How To” Process

People who have a lack of self-love are usually combinations of all of the above. The annoyance of fakers-shakers-takers-noise-makers is that they breed. In this era of internet anonymity, absence of manners and social skills, entitlement issues, trash-called-literature written by a bunch of horny wanna-bes, and kink confused for Fetish, We can expect more idiocy from people who “know it all” while having NO REAL-LIFE experience. And no, kinky sex doesn’t count for Fetish Expression. Such immaturity and lack of personal responsibility endangers The Scene physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – none of these concepts are relatable to people who are in it just for their kinky kicks.

The bigger annoyance is that fakers-shakers-takers-noise-makers are the slave-labor of unscrupulous websites and promoters that profit from negativity with the intention of drying up The Scene for the sake of profit via the novelty-masses. So, what Fetishist have to contend with are folks who’ve invaded The Scene for the sake of fashion without the respect and passion that makes Us Who We Are As Fetishist. There is no Art with people whose intentions are motivated by the “tip of the drip.”

Since unbridled kink attracts creeps and criminals, I maintain that it is up to the Dominants to instill order via protocols and education as We filter through the rubble. For all of Our protection, it is imperative to know your legal rights and preventive measures for Your safety, as well as for Your sanity.

Resources:   Fetish Safety For All: 50 Shades of Foolishness; The Importance of Rituals and Protocols; Domina101™; and Mistress Didi’s Webcam Workshops

Please feel free to link to My Blog posts to help enhance the educations of others and refer them to download My Complimentary Fetish Etiquette Guide.

Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREE Fetish Etiquette GuideWebcam WorkshopsPartyDomme.com News


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

AskMistressDidi.com

Pity The Self-Loathing

August 31, 2011

Dear Mistress Didi*,

I am disgusted with how badly people [behave in The Scene]!  I am fed up with the rudeness, the jealousy, the sabotage, and overall evil that seem to be where everyone is coming from – well, not everyone.  This is why I’m contacting You: You are always gracious and polite every time I’ve seen You – even when people have attempted to offend and disrespect You.  Will You please tell me how I can stay in The Scene, which I love, and deal with all [of] the negative people?

~ Ms. Dissed

Dear Ms. Dissed,

Lately, I, too, have been a little blue due the bad behaviors exhibited by many, many people who choose to behave abominably. While I struggle every day to find the beauty in people of this culture that embraces ugliness as a “starting point,” I find Myself a bit fatigued.  Well, that’s what I get for (1) having expectations in the first place that most people work towards being the Highest they can be and (2) fantasizing that they desire to be better than common and trite instead of paying attention to the truth these people show Me.

Along with that annoyance are the people who attempt to “top” Me via what I refer to as “reindeer games” – you know, the “make-wrong” tactics (as demonstrated poorly on a daily basis by the teabaggers).  They try to “trap” you with a comment about something you say and/or do that is intended to put you on the defensive while feigning to place themselves on a higher level of consciousness than where they clearly see you are.

The reasons these “reindeer games” do not work on Me are:

  • I “walk My talk.”  EVERYTHING you read that I have presented to and for you is My absolute Truth.
  • I am not concerned with whether or not people like Me.  I honestly feel that those who are worthy of My time, consideration, and attention are those who will “get” Me and My message and choose to enjoy My Domain.  Anyone with a nefarious intention cannot exist in My Domain because it IS about Truth.  I am brave enough to face My Truth and, therefore, am not rattled by anyone else’s inability to accept what IS about Me and My Life.
  • I love and accept Myself, permit Myself opportunities to grow, and work to operate on Higher Levels of consciousness on a daily basis.  Yes, this is quite a challenge, and it really does help to be a Sadist…
  • I have no attachment to people agreeing with Me.  Everyone experiences life differently and I respect that.  I also have no attachment to agreeing with others.  Agreement is not as important as respect is – without respect, there is nothing.

What is so tedious about these reindeer gamers is that I have taken the time to put everything you need to know about Me on the internet, available for free, and they don’t bother to read it – they just look for something to attempt to top Me… and at My photos, of course.

Evidence of a Higher Level of Consciousness is compassion.  I pity “haters” and venerate “appreciaters.”  I understand that The Mirror is the true test of how you care for yourself.  When you look in The Mirror, do you love yourself? like yourself?  Loving and liking yourself should be one’s first priorities in order to be comfortable with who you are and to fully enjoy the gift of Life.

Though I see these reindeer gamers clearly, and it would be all too easy to drop down to their level to make sure that they understand that I am not the one they can feed their negativity with, I choose to educate them with the opportunity to grow towards the self-love that will make their lives happy and whole.

Education is the reason I give How To Present yourself To A Mistress for FREE and continuing in the giving spirit, purchases of the full version support My Charities.

I truly believe that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem.  I am a major part of the solution to what is important to Me in The Scene and in My Domain.

I am so glad to love what I see in The Mirror.  I sincerely wish that joy to everyone and I support everyone in doing the work to have this joy.

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of The Mistress Didi*s Words Of Wisdom

FREE Fetish Etiquette GuideWorkshopsPartyDomme News


Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning.  The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD.  As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking.  In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events.  She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

Related articles: