Making a Positive From a Negative

©The Mistress Didi* ~ PartyDomme.com

Originally Posted on March 21, 2010

Yesterday, Mollena made a public tweet to Me that several folks considered to be “rific” (My term, a suffix used as an adjective to express “shady” and/or “suspect” behavior, e.g., “bitch-a-rific” and “dick-a-rific”; His dick-a-rific comment was given with the pretense of being a compliment that clearly wasn’t.)

Since I bother to actually read what people have to say about themselves on the websites they provide for Us to know about them (oh, how I wish more people would do this for Me), I have an insight into Mollena’s world from reading about her. Although I appreciate that people may think they are looking out for Me, I understand that everyone’s unique experiences shape their interpretations of events.

I understand and clearly recognize how different I am from the vast majority of people. I always strive to live from a Higher Consciousness to maintain My peace and compassion. This is certainly not an easy task, but one that I consider worthwhile. I know that My practice of considering My issues first before addressing anyone else’s opinions, choices, etc., allows Me to be truthful to Myself and maintain My convictions honestly. Very few people actually accept that kind of responsibility for their realities.

I also recognize that I offer a lot more respect to people that they actually have for themselves. This usually unnerves those with self-worth issues and they look to play the silly “make-wrong” games instead of looking to find the value in themselves that I have taken for granted exists.

Being a Responsible Sadist, I have the compassion and patience for people to grow, but I will not tolerate pathetic attempts to top Me and I definitely will not allow disrespectful behavior to go unpunished. I am committed to leaving offenders with lessons that are opportunities for personal growth. After all, such people are lost and confused in a lack of self-love and awareness. It is truly Divine to leave them with Pearls of Wisdom; it is their choice to use these gifts or not. I have no attachment to the choices people make for themselves – that would be to interfere in their soul-lessons; I only wish them well. I choose to spend My time on creating My Domain as My Paradise.

Back to Mollena. Quickly, Mollena is a Fetish educator who has an interesting blog and who gives lectures all around the country. She is doing her part to create a healthy Lifestyle Scene and I admire her. Whenever you are a public figure, there will always be people who look to misunderstand your meanings (usually because they are not aware of their jealousies, insecurities, etc.) So, I can naturally understand how her comments could have been understood by some to be baiting and attempts to belittle. Because I pride Myself on always choosing to take the High Road until someone proves that they’re a low-life, I chose to address Mollena’s comments as one educator to another – I had no reason not to.

The exchange on Twitter:

Me: REAL submissives: http://partydomme.com/service/

Mollena: @MistressDidi I balk at the term “Real” when it comes to labeling people and behaviors: as though a “different” approach to yours is “fake.”

Me: @Mollena REAL as in real breasts, real cheese as opposed to “cheese food,” real gems as opposed to faux, REAL submissives vs. trolls

Me: @Mollena I balk at people abominating something beautiful with a lack of knowledge/consideration & causing the need for damage control

Me:@Mollena As always, one’s perspective comes from one’s personal experience and agenda http://bit.ly/DD-Dvd

Mollena: @MistressDidi Understood. I think it dodgy as that is a word most often used to label subs who don’t fit the mold of a disgruntled dom.

Me: @Mollena One has to expect something different than what is apparent to be disgruntled ~ why I practice & promote Self-Love & Appreciation

Me: @Mollena When you are your own source of inspiration, you set the standards for what is/is not accepted in your Domain

Mollena: @MistressDidi And if someone is “abominating” out of ignorance, it *might* be possible to educate them! And then they can grow & learn 🙂

Me: @Mollena Education is the reason I give How To Present yourself To A Mistress for FREE http://partydomme.com/fetish-etiquette-guide/

Me: @Mollena And continuing in the giving spirit, purchases of the full version support My Charities http://partydomme.com/fetish-etiquette-guide/ #fetish #manners

Now, to Me, it looks like Mollena and I are on similar wave-lengths. And since both Mollena and I have dealt with so many people with so many issues and experiences of the Fetish Lifestyle, I could easily appreciate that she shared her experience and reaction to My use of the word “REAL”. I didn’t look for a reason to become hostile because, from reading Mollena’s own words, I see that like Me, she is a straight-to-the-point communicator. Most people interpret directness as hostility, but this is usually a mistake based on immaturity (meaning “lack of experience and exposure”). I am also not threatened by strong opinions, having so many of My own!

The way I see it, Mollena expressed her reaction to a word I used based upon her experience and I expressed My different experiences and how I use them to contribute to The Scene. From this exchange, Mollena has a better understanding of Who I Am and her followers took the opportunity to look into My Works and you know what? In less than 24 hours so far, approximately 50 new people have downloaded My How To Present yourself To A Mistress FreeBook and 10 people made donations to My Charities by purchasing the Full Version!

Talk about a win/win situation! Both Mollena and I have again contributed to The Whole and Highest Good!

So, what I offer to you here is the opportunity to:

1) Check yourself first before believing that someone has nefarious intentions. What is it about them/their actions that ruffled your feathers and what happened in your experience to cause your reactions?

2) Consider the source. Read what a person offers about her/himself so that you will have a better perspective before rushing to judgment – hey, We all do it! It is a discipline to practice being non-judgmental… and a tough one! But knowledge is the key to understanding, communication, and cooperation; and

3) Look for “win/win” situations and you will have them more often!

This world is difficult enough to live, love, and
thrive in; look for the positives FIRST, starting within yourself, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Great things can come from this simple practice of
appreciation.

Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*

www.PartyDomme.com

*****

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*. Remember your manners…

I’m a Domme, not your mom.

More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom

FREEbookBeing a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.