October 29, 2011
Q: Dear Mistress Didi,
Should a woman who is in the Dominatrix business be domineering in her dealings with other business people or learn flexibility and understand that business associates are equal? ~ young entrepreneur
Dear young entrepreneur,
First, not everyone is equal – that goes for all aspects of life, including business. A lot of folks want to be “politically correct” about this, but hey, deal with it. Learn to appreciate the talents that others offer. It is useless to expect a kindergartener to comprehend calculus, much less perform an equation expertly. So, I suggest that you practice seeing what’s best in a person and/or situation and respect it in order to enjoy a relationship that will yield mutually beneficial results.
Second, Self-Control is the only real control there is. Every business person needs to know how to discipline Herself to achieve the greatest good, a.k.a., what’s best for business without compromising one’s integrity – which, unfortunately, is a rare practice these days. Bullying is not Dominance. Knowing how to present your desires and create boundaries for the barbarians who do not practice common courtesy are necessary skills to hone.
Third, anyone, Dominant or otherwise, who chooses to be at the effect of Her environment rather than affecting Her environment, practices personal irresponsibility (it is always someone else’s fault that things are not as desired. Our societies force-feed personal irresponsibility upon Us via social, religious, and economic conditioning. However, We always have the choice to evolve past mediocrity.) There is a difference between being stern and being rude, and becoming adept in the Art of Communication is the most important skill a Dominant can have.
Those who have the fortitude to go against “the norm” learn that the only true power is power with, not power over others and are the most successful. Just look at Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and other moguls who engage the best in people to achieve the ultimate success.
Finally, be who you are, not a twisted interpretation of what a Dominant is as determined by other people’s fantasies projected onto your reality.
Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*
I’m a Domme, not your mom.
Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with “hoochies with whips“) and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her* quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and ClassicFetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.